l i l e p h y t e

February 10th, 18:27 | thoughts on arranged marriages

(more added after the tutorial...)

Going crazy studying... again. I really do have a short attention span. Also discovered: Jimmy Eat World do not make for good study music. Yeah, okay, I totally already knew that... I was just being bad and listening to Clarity while trying to learn about Small Molecule Regulators (mmm... lipid goodness) because... I wanted to. It's lonely here in the lab that's housed me for so much of my undergrad cs career and not knowing a single other person in here. I mean, I'm no Van Wilder, but I know pretty much everyone in CS here. That I've spent... coming on three hours in here and don't know anyone is rather eerie. And I love this album. I love all of them. Every time I listen, I want to close my eyes, and just let it wash over me. No matter how loud the nattering idiot behind me is yelling to his partner, I can drown them all out with a barely cranked Jimmy track, and every single time I listen to the CDs, I fall in love again. I am such a sappy, emo suck the patheticness hurts, sometimes. Today's not one of those days though. So ha.

So I was letting my mind drift while reading a paper, and I was thinking about arranged marriages. You know, back in the day, when everyone was doing it? Because that way the parents could (presumably) arrange some kind of financial dealie to ensure their kids will be taken care of, and also families that were friends get to be closer... I mean, it all made sense right? Yeah, I know, I don't know what possessed them either.

I was thinking about it though and really, it doesn't seem quite so bad if you look at it from a purely logistic point of view, you know? People, as a whole, weren't too unhappy, were they? I mean, there's pretty much a fifty-fifty chance that you'll get along pretty well with your match-up spouse, right? How likely is it that you really hate the person you were matched up to? If you think of all the people you're acquainted with (not the ones you really know, since those would probably be okay), yeah, you may not be best buddies with them, but honestly? If someone said, hey, you get to run a house with this person forever, it probably wouldn't be that hard to take, for most of the people.

I feel the need to underline at this point that no, I am not in any way suggesting we bring it all back. I'm merely entertaining the thought that as a hooking-people-up strategy, it wasn't all that bad.

Why do I think that? Because people are extremely adaptive and versatile. I figure that as long as the person assigned you isn't a complete assmunch, they'll likely respect the basics, and even if you haven't much in common, you'll build stories over time to relate to. Things would be super-awesome, of course, with little bonuses like having the same sense of humour, or liking the same food, or having complimenting personalities, and such. On the other hand, though, people seemed to have a lot more time to just hang out together (yeah, none of that "blogging" shit for them...) back in those days, so they'd probably get to know the ins and outs of each other pretty fast, and would probably work a bit to mesh and mold to each other, neh? I'm not saying it's ideal. It's a different paradigm. People kind of took what came at them, then worked to make it comfortable and as fun as they could, since they were in it for the long haul.

Compare that to today. Now no one's forcing anyone to do anything. Now you don't have a small village to choose from; you have a giant city full of folk, or (what with this "internet" thing) even the whole world from which to cull your Single Best Match Out There Ever. Honestly? That sounds like a more daunting task then just getting to know the sidekick you're "stuck" with and learning to work with them. Now you need to figure out what you yourself are looking for, what you want, what you need, what you're willing to compromise on, find someone who meets some or all of the necessary specs... and then convince them that you're what they need. Call me cynical, but I'd venture a guess that while there may be a minority of couples who are blissfully happy because They've Found Each Other, your general everyday jack or jill is probably lonelier, without their pre-assigned sidekick to at least settle for.

If I really thought about it, I'm sure I'd find that a whole lot of progress follows the general pattern I'm describing here. I'm too lazy though.

I've no idea where that whole thing came from. Just a thought that was kicking around in my head earlier. As I need to run to tutorial soon, I shall leave you all with today's listie. (No, I'm not making this a regular feature. At least... not on purpose. After all, I am an incurable list nerd. (Shut up, chan!!) Anyway, the list: lilephyte vs. sunshine)


    Will offer hugs to pretty much anyone who looks like they might need one
    Is always willing to share her candy
    Doesn't cause cancer (note: research still in progress)
    Usually points out pretty sunrises/sets to everyone, so they can see too
    Makes the world's best pancakes
    Hides on bad days, so as not to take out her wrath on others
    Loves all plants (except orchids), but tends to kill them
    Is easy to please, most days
    Sings (on second thought, this might be a "con")


    Helps with that whole "production of vitamin D" thing
    That warming-up-back feeling
    Generally indicates a really cold day in the winter
    Doesn't chatter endlessly at you with great randomnimity
    Brightens up rooms all glowy-like
    Hides on bad days so as not to take out wrath on others
    Makes flowers and plants happy
    Sparkles on waves all pretty-like
    An environmentally-friendly energy source

Well, I'm fairly certain sunshine wins out. After all, I'm sure most of the world would rather have sunshine than me. :) And besides, I'm somewhat solar-powered anyway. Off to tutorial!

20h51 -ish

As a post-dinner treat, I thought I'd make up another playlist. This one is as many songs as you can think of with the word "heaven" somewhere in the title. So far I've got...

    For Me This Is Heaven, Jimmy Eat World
    Just Like Heaven, The Cure
    Heaven Is a Truck, Pavement
    Little Heaven, Toad the Wet Sprocket
    Heaven Knows, Squeeze (off the Hackers soundtrack!)
    Heaven Coming Down, Tea Party
    Sterile Heaven, Tilt
    Holes to Heaven, Jack Johnson
    Knockin' on Heaven's Door, Guns 'n' Roses
    As Heaven Is Wide, Garbage

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