l i l e p h y t e

January 16th, 11:14 | Silly boys, lilephyte's for... who?

Still angry from yesterday, albeit in a different way. Yesterday was a kind of hot anger, all explosive and frustration; anger of the "this is the last fucking straw" persuasion. Today is the icy remnants and I'm a lot calmer, a lot brittler, and a lot harder to please.

Pseudo-brother, after much irritated commentry on my part, finally spat out that he was unhappy with Roo's request to spend Saturday afternoon with me because he's interested. Fabulous. He'd wanted to tell me in person. Fine. He can explain it all Friday night. Roo, in the meantime, was getting on my back about spending more time with me, since Saturday's hockey game is out, since they're all sold out for the Sens' game. No. I can not describe the frustration I've been through when, two weeks ago, I tried to coordinate what was going on, was told by PseudoBrother "You just let us worry about scheduling; you're here to have fun," and then to have the two of them get all angry and pissy at me when I don't know what's going on. Make. Up. Your. Fucking. Minds. Either let me handle the scheduling and answer my damn questions when I ask, or mean what you say and actually take care of this.

I realize this means that the two of them would have to come to some sort of discussion-based compromise since they're apparently fighting over me, but you know what? It was coming anyway. Deal with it.

None of this is made better by the fact that Yuutaru (another friend there who, thankfully, has a gf, so I needn't worry about him) couldn't find five minutes to email me back (over the course of two weeks) about whether/when he would have time to see me while I'm up there. I know Yuu. He's a busy guy, involved in everything, and if he told me he didn't have time, I'd believe him. Nonetheless, it makes me feel like crap that he has time to meet PseudoBrother for breakfast twice a week, but can't answer a fucking email so I can plan a half-hour to get to see him. I probably wouldn't have cared, but yesterday was a seriously busy day.

My team were catching up on new stuff, which meant I took the brunt of the calls, I dealt with 15 emailed configs, people yelling at me because it was the deadline for a promotion and panicking because they're too disorganized. I was getting guilt-tripped over email (by PBro no less; he has lost all guilt-tripping rights for fucking ever) about not being on icq. Hello?? At work much?? It was just one of those "whole world gang up on lilephyte and make her feel like crap" things.

So I went home, washed my hair, turned my machine off and re-read the first Harry Potter book. I may be anti-social when I'm angry, but if you've ever been yelled at by me (or heard RecentEx's horror stories), you'd realize I'm doing the world a favour.

Right now, I'm fairly calm. I'm a little stressed, since I'm behind on my psych reading, but it's nothing very dramatic. Mostly just pissed off. I'm not asking for much: if this is as big a deal as both these guys keeps claiming, making a little effort shouldn't be hard.

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