l i l e p h y t e

November 27th, 00:49 | Coke and toothbrushes; not a bad combination, really

It's late. It's "holy shit, if I don't hie my ass to bed in the next ten minutes, I am not going to be able to get up for work tomorrow" late, but I can't sleep. I foolishly consumed the equivalent of two cans of coke, and unlike days of yore, I am definitely back to being a coke newb. Which doesn't really bother me; it means it's quicker to get myself hyped up and ready to roll for the writing (note: have you seen the gauge thingie over -> yon? Dude, I am kicking this novel squarely in the pants, here! First time ever!) but sadly it also means more time spent in bed with a twitching foot while my mind races through daydreams from when I was little, to possible pen names for, you know, when my completely readable, non-shite novel, ha ha, hits the shelves.

Did I mention that I've had a couple Cokes too many tonight?

Anyhow, so it's late, I'm restless, and I figured it would be a good time to hammer out something I've been meaning to share for a little while now.

Recently my manual toothbrush was solemnly retired (to the garbage) in a simple, yet elegant ceremony (pitched from across the bathroom; nothing but net) and while I do have an electric one, I like having the oldschool kind sometimes. The Boy, who bulk-buys that kind of stuff from Costco, offered me one from his package of Oral-B CrossAction Vitalizers. (I think he was secretly hoping I'd pick the pink one, but F that. Seeing as he'd already taken the blue one, I went with purple.) Anyway, so I stole one, and honestly, was a little intimidated by it.

I'd always used your kind of plain jane vanilla Oral-Bs, the kind your dentist gives you, that have the small heads with colour-changey bristles labelled "soft, for healthy gum massage" or whatever. Those, however, are the tame, sweater-wearing prisses of the toothbrush world. The "Vitalizers" are in a class all their own, let me tell you. These toothbrushes are massive, first of all, with plushy rubber grips (you know, so you can really give 'er while brushing?) and giant heads. There are, like, vectored bristle clusters or something, and these weird rubber protuberances on the side. Weird neon green protuberances (you can see them in action in the demo, if you're curious). I just... let me tell you, I was more than a little hesitant to put that thing in my mouth.


But I did, and tried brushing, and... wow. I mean, I know everyone enjoys that post-brushing feeling where your mouth is all clean and such, but I have never before in my life had the thought "My God, this is phenomenal -- I have GOT to start brushing more often" while I'm actually brushing. I mean it. Usually I'm half-assedly singing along to something, or trying to brush my hair, or just kind of propping myself up against a wall, trying to wake up or whatever. You know. Tooth-brushing is a background task, not something you focus on. Or So I Thought. Let me tell you, if you use one of these things, you are engaged, you are alert and paying attention, because the new Oral-B? Makes my gums happy, in a way I'm not sure is entirely wholesome.

It's that good, folks. And now, bed.

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