l i l e p h y t e

October 17th, 13:42 | Books and food

So... is it okay to eat something bigger than your head?

Allow me to clarify a little. We had a roast last night (Parents: You would not believe the price of this roast! So cheap! Daughter: You bought discount beef?? Parents: Duh? Daughter: ...) and we have a ridiculous amount left over so this morning, I, like the dutiful daughter I am, sought to make myself a sandwich from said leftovers.

Having got the bread toasted, I then considered that we had leftover stuffing. There isn't much that tastes better than stuffing in a sandwich let me tell you (this follows from the Squared Carb Rule*), so I slapped some of that in. Then, obviously, beef. After that, we had all these sauteed onions left over, so I put in a layer of those, but I couldn't let them sit next to the bread, 'cause then it would get all soggy, so I put in another layer of beef. Voila.

Okay, so having done that, I had a fairly hefty sandwich, and sallied merrily off to work.

A couple hours later, upon trying eat this beast, I realized that not only had I unwittingly created a sandwich of Dagwood proportions but that it was, in actuality, bigger than my head. Hence, the above question: is it okay to eat something bigger than your head?

At first consideration, it seems like it should be somewhat freakish or wrong. Is it? I turn to Nature on this one. I mean, there are the hyenas who will take down those tall, dainty gazelles, or those vicious little dinosaurs taking down one big one, schools of piranha, etc. but you have to take into consideration that those are packs, and since I'm really just feeding myself here, I can't use that as a justification.

So then we move onto animals like snakes and owls and things that are known to swallow whole frogs, birds, or small rodents, some of which surely must be bigger than the head of the agressor. Right? Okay, so these animals are only feeding themselves, however, they also only do this every couple of days or so; it's kind of like a "four or five meals in one" kind of deal. Grazing-style mammal that I am, I tend to eat multiple meals a day, so this doesn't cover it either.

At this point, I turn to the Dog family. Foxes eat chickens, right? And wild dogs eat hares and things, if they can catch them, don't they? Last I checked, a chicken was totally bigger than a fox's head. So. Does this make it okay? I'm really just mimicing my canine cousins, right? Right?

(Well. I've been whittling away at it while writing this, so now that it's finished, I'm going to stop worrying about whether or not it was freakishly wrong to eat a sandwich of that size. As a side-note, though, stuffing in sandwiches? So good.)

* Squared Carb Rule. This is the rule that states that any carb-on-carb combination can not fail. This is true. Fries in a bun (aka chip butty), fries dipped in honey or milkshake, potato salad in a wrap, stuffing in a sandwich, breaded anything with noodles. The list goes on and on. At first, most people seem hesitant to believe me, but trust me on this. It's a Rule.

So, in other news, I hit up the local university's used book sale this weekend, and holy God, the books. I am very thankful that I set myself a limit ("You are not spending more than $40 on these books!") beforehand, because my self-control in the presence of cheap bookage? Nonexistent. (Evidence: I ended up spending $42; but it was totally worth it.)

Among my treasures are a kind of comic book of around the house "how-to" repairs (which is clearly aimed at women; hilarious), a book of children's bible stories which is the most insidious "Anything not Christian is BAD" text I've read in awhile, two vegetarian cookbooks, one of which has awesome essays with whole food nutritional values and info, Gen X, and miscellaneous fiction.

Mmm... books and food.

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