July 19th, 18:30 | Shoe vs Purse : The ultimate girl showdown

I used to be convinced that there were (among many) two ways to classify girls: Purse Girls and Shoe Girls. Within this classification, I had always put myself in the Shoe flavour of bonkers, because, frankly, I was somewhat obsessive about cool-looking shoes (although I didn't own many because although I might lust superficially after them through the plate glass, I always held true to the idea that if they're not comfy, I won't wear them, and they'll be a blatant waste of cash). I mean, this stems from way back. When I was about 14, I found my mom's tiny-footed, knee-high leather boots ("from Italy; they don't fit me anymore") which I tried so desperately to cram my evil-stepsister-sized feet into (okay fine, I would endure non-fitting shoes, but only when I didn't have to pay for them) and parade around in for as long as I could stand it. Every single time I trawl the artsy, fashionable section of Queen St., I pause and look at all the impressively buckled and shiny boots on display there, followed by the trendy hipster running shoes (do I yearn for Sketchers? No, I'm more of a Vans girl; now ask me if I own a pair of either) but would still (eventually) walk past.

Throughout this bizarrely vicarious relationship with footwear, however, it never occured to me that I might actually be (*gasp*) batting for the other side. Oh no, not me. I mean, when do I even look at, let alone *buy* purses?? It couldn't possibly be. Oh no? Let's do some quick inventory, shall we? At last count (and please keep in mind that I'm a girl-in-training, damnit; don't judge), I had...

One pair of workboots
One pair of "dress" boots
One pair of clunky mary janes
One pair of office mary janes
One pair of satin office shoes
One pair of open-toed shoes
One pair of "messy" sandals
One pair of "fancy" sandals
One pair of party shoes
One pair of crap running shoes
One pair of good running shoes
One pair of PowerShoesILove (now deceased, *sniffle*)

Does that seem like a lot? It should, but for some reason when I find myself going out (especially in the winter), I either wear running shoes, or the open-toed (now that the power shoes -- good anywhere! -- are dead). Either way, I know most girls have more shoes than that.

Now, purses? Let's see what we're dealing with here:

Three different mini-backpacks
Two normal-sized backpacks
Three tiny casual purses
Two tiny dressy purses
Two normal-sized "office appropriate" purses
(Neither of which I use at work, btw)
Two large, flat, satchel-type dealies
One medium, non-flat, satchel dealie ("the MEC towel")
One medium, flat satchel dealie (that I bought)
Three small girly non-shoulder-strapped purses

...do you SEE where I'm going with this? Do you? I mean, aside from the fact that the only bags I paid for were one backpack, the MEC bag, and the medium satchel, I still own enough portable storage space to outfit an army. What's more, my aunts, when they go on their shopping sprees to Buffalo (that's right folks, when you live in Canada, the Walden Galleria is prime shopping territory), they'll spontaneously buy me purses that they think I'll like (read: gaudy and bright). Clearly, this places me in the Purse Girl category. I have only one question: How did this happen??

I had accepted my place as a shoe junkie! I tried to empathize with girls who would blog about their incorrigible shoe-collecting ways! I love and get attached to my shoes hopelessly! How can I possibly be wrong and be... and be... One Of Them??

No matter how many of the damned purses I give away to Goodwill (and don't think I haven't tried giving myself more closet space by doing that -- you got the post-cleanout list), I still seem to keep accumulating handbags, like some sort of Cosmic Purse Blackhole.

Frankly, I'm frightened.

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