l i l e p h y t e

March 24th, 19:44 | Are you there Internet? It's me, lilephyte

7:44 : restate my assumptions.

    One. My single best and most-preferred method of not thinking about something that's bothering me is sleeping.

    Two. When I sleep a lot, it tends to indicate that something's bothering me, and I'm trying to avoid thinking about it.

    Three. When I feel that I can't write about something that's bothering me in my blog, I get extra frazzled and blue. Then I get angrier with myself for feeling that way.

I've been having difficulty getting out of bed lately. Not every day. Not even what I'd venture to call "regularly". Just... a couple days this past month, I've really not wanted to get up.

Now, I can put this down to the fact that something's bothering me (which is true) and that I really don't want to think about it anymore (also kind of true), but that would imply that I haven't already given it some thought (which I have) and have come to some sort of decision/resolution about it (also done). So. What's up with that? Because no matter how sleep-deprived I may be (and I am), there's no way I need 10 hours of sleep. So what's going on?

A lot of What's Happening After April angst, a little mopiness and nostalgia for things and people I won't see/experience again when I'm gone, a little diva-ness about not being missed and... stuff I don't want to write about.

I've always known there'd be stuff I couldn't blog about, for various reasons. I guess I never really thought I'd want (need?) to so much either. Weird how you grow to depend on old habits without realizing it. Wonder what I'll do in the future without the lake.

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