l i l e p h y t e

February 29th, 01:28 | I'm not ready for a real life, damnit!

A fairly quiet "out" night, if that makes any sense. I talked two of the dons from another building (neither of whom know me that well, but who still talk to me and, as it turns out, neither of whom speak French) into coming to watch La Deprime with me. It's a Quebecois play put on by the French department, and my friend (NeighbourBoy's housemate) was in the play. It was quite good; campy. I like the style of things where there's no plot, per se, but you get a glimpse into the lives of a whole slew of people.

Anyway, after the play, which was not entirely enjoyed by them, we headed up to my favourite on-campus bar for hang-out-age, which was really nice. It was an awesome chance to get to know them better outside of the normal scope of the caf. It seems that of the three I'm really the only one who loves hanging out with my floor. I guess we just see don-student relationships differently.

We talked about a lot of things; highschool (we're all from the same area), previous years here, waxing nostalgic about don training week. I was joking that while I may not come to a Queen's reunion, I would want to have a don reunion. And it's true. Of the friends I made in university, the one's I've kept are the ones who are still here, and still a whole pile more are the ones I've met this year through being a don. I was thinking about how in a way I was glad I wasn't there last year when my year graduated, so I didn't have to actively face the thought that I'd never hear from most of them again. This year... I will have to face it. And it will be extra hard. CodeChickie I live walking distance from, and will probably see around occasionally. NeighbourBoy, much like the Boy's friends in Ottawa, I'll probably always talk to online. RecentEx I'll probably do the "long silences; occasional hardcore catch-up bursts" thing with. But the others? I'm not sure at all. I can hope that we'll talk on icq or whatever but... we all know how bad I am at distance relationships of any sort. It makes me sad, and not just for the "waste" of energy. I will honestly miss a lot of the friends I've made this year, and it's making me sad thinking about the soon-to-be-lost friends. It's a little ridiculous, really, to think that way. After all, what's the likelihood I'll keep in touch with my frosh, right? Still, I wouldn't trade a minute I've spent with them.

I'm in a weird space lately. So busy running to keep up trying not to let doors close on me, I don't have the time I had before to hang out -- with anyone, not just my frosh. And it's making me feel bad. I want a break, a breather, time to catch up with them. It's just that... no one seems to be home this weekend. Everyone else is also out taking a break.

I am tired of this. I do want school to be over. But at the same time... my life this term is so perfect. I wish it could stretch out forever. I'm afraid of when this will end. Because I know that what comes after won't feel anything like this, and there's no cure anymore for the kind of homesickness I've been feeling all year.

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