December 16th, 10:52 | Mmm... snow angels

Alright, so it's been awhile, and things have been hectic. Brief summary in pseudo-point form, 'cause I don't think I'll remember any other way. Apologies.

Thursday: was the networking exam. It went... okay... I think. Not really sure. MetallicBoy and I had a discussion about it on the way out and he kind of threw me into doubt about a number of the questions. (I hate it when people do that!) He was then an insensitive asswhole (surprise) so I stormed off. Think I spent the rest of the day sleeping. Don't really remember. I was feeling pretty ass and lonely and hurt by MBoy, so yeah. Later that night, a cs student party at Matt's (fun-fun!) and... that was Thursday. (Side-note: Matt is a townie who's a year younger than me, although he both looks and acts older than me, and calls me alternately "cupcake" or "muffin". He's the closest thing I've had to instant older brother ever.)

Friday: I finally got my shit together and mailed off my application to UoT Pharm. Coffee with the profs in the afternoon (I learned to play that bean game! Uhhh... awari?) which was awesome and I got my ass kicked at Settlers of Catan -- half hour game -- shortest ever! I hit up my boss, and he went over the feedback forms from my frosh about how I'm doing. Essentially nine out of ten of them think I'm awesome. I'm a little worried about the ones who didn't fill in evaluation forms, but I think overall I'm doing okay. ^_^ Yes!

Came back home after to icq messages from MetallicBoy asking me what up, am I pissed at him, and what's on tomorrow's (AI) exam. I swear, if he didn't have something about class to ask me, he'd never talk to me. So we set a time, and I head over for study-buddy-age. It was actually pretty helpful because I was pretty nervous. So then...

Saturday: I wrote the AI exam -- a three hour exam, finished in 50 minutes (with time for daydreaming in the middle, and filling in the example crossword she included). I smoked that mofo. I 0wnz AI. After that, since we finished it about the same time, MetallicBoy and I headed back to the caf to eat together (that hasn't happened since October) and it was one of my boy's birthday -- and he was leaving that afternoon. So I asked if MBoy wanted to eat with my floor. The answer? "No, but I'd like to eat with you, so I suppose." WTF?? I've eaten with his floor -- and they're not friendly at all! As it turns out, the engineers on my floor were all together and they were about halfway through their meal when we got there. MBoy spent the entire meal telling me about how his floor was so much cooler. ??? Let the competition fucking go, jeez. Thus was part I of the Floor War Saga.

In the early afternoon a goodly number of my froshlings took off. Numbed the pain with the rest of the floor watching Top Gun and Save the Last Dance, the latter of which prompted one of my engfrosh (who before had been somewhat pissed at me for a pretty bad reason) to both want to sign up for hiphop classes (major intro!) if possible in January -- woohoo! Missed dinner at the caf due to the movies, but didn't feel like eating. Later that night, it snowed, but no one to play with me, so I still couldn't focus, so I was up till 4am watching Singing in the Rain. It's a little eerie how many of my frosh came into the common to chat while that was playing -- they should have been sleeping!

Sunday: More snow! (And how!) Spent some time with Kovin, who I haven't seen in three months. Played some DDR (wow, I suck) and watched X2 coupled with, *cough*, "Chinese food". I didn't have the heart to tell them it didn't resemble anything I had at home. It was good though? I got chicken balls! W00t!

Monday: was a shit day. Really. It started off with a total lack of focus on my part, and waking up late despite intentions of studying. Made worse by an apology in a blog of an acquaintance of mine. She's now dating a guy chan was dating back in first year. The whole break-up/start thing was really messy and I was put in the middle more than once. It was very ugly, and for some reason she was writing about it again -- apparently something I said about one of her previous entries (no? I never said anything?) got back to her bf, and they had a big fight in a restaurant. So she was apologizing to me for the "misunderstanding" because she actually likes me and I'm a swell gal.

Confusion because I never thought she didn't like me. It just made me angry because she's one of those people who'll apologize in the format "I'm sorry for [whatever], BUT..." and I hate that. If you don't think you're wrong, don't apologize. I was so angry, and the Boy and I had a minor spat (he's the bf's best friend, although he was on my side) and I don't even know what we were fighting about. Trip lakeside, made a snow angel in two-foot-deep snow (in a skirt!) and that was pretty much fixed. Still crackly about what she wrote, and I had to write back. So I did, then went to sleep to get rid of the anger. (Yes, this makes sense. At least, it does if you're me. Sleep cures everything.)

I woke up ~19h15, hit up the caf for food with a book, seriously not in a chatting mood, one of my pseudo-frosh finds me and proceeds to talk at me for 40 minutes. No offense, she's really capable and amazing and will one day run congress or something like that, but she was boring as all hell that night, and I really didn't want to deal with it. So I see another don and go over to ask him how his take-home midterm went and he was sitting next to MetallicBoy who introduces me to the one frosh sitting with them whom he was eating with. Start round II. I was so taken aback by his immaturity, I just walked away. I was shaking I was so angry. Angry that he can be so stupid as to "fight" by comparing our floors -- he doesn't even know anyone on my floor; he sure as hell didn't make an effort to get to know anyone at the table on Saturday -- angry that I'm letting it bother me, angry that he destroyed the peace that four hours of sleep gave me. Grrrrrrrrr.

Returned the philosophy book of his I'd been reading (very slowly; it is, after all, exams), and he wasn't there, thankfully, so I just left it in his room and headed home. My frosh invited me to watch the OC which I totally bailed on. Instead, RecentEx and I talked and he finally convinced me what he's been trying for essentially all year. I've had it up to here with MetallicBoy. I can pretty much sum up our relationship by saying that he's an anion, all inward energy, never once stepping foot out of his goddamned castle. For all the bad, there were moments that were really good, and I'll miss him, 'cause he's fun when he lightens up and forgets that he's supposed to be shielding himself against me. But it's not worth it. It's not.

So. I wrote him a letter. (I have a thing with letters. In person I tend to get overly emotional and tongue-tied and never actually get to say everything I want to. In letter-writing I can be emotional, but I can also wait and make sure I get it all out. Which I did. 11 pages (5 double-sided, plus one) of anger poured out in a torrent of messy writing. I don't know if he'll read it (or be able to) or what, and I'd bet my textbooks he'll never answer (thus, I'll never hear from him ever again) but I'm not going to back down. No really. I'm not. I haven't delivered it yet, I'm still getting used to the idea of never talking to him again. I don't like it. But it'll definitely hurt less in the long run. I just... I can't quite believe I wasn't having an effect.

The first three months were fairly progress-less. The last one, though. Maybe 'cause it was his birthday. Maybe 'cause he likes winter. I don't know why. I feel that he was closer to being friend-like. I guess I'm hoping that at some point in the next couple days he'll show that again. I shouldn't though. It's essentially pointless. Right? Bah. Stupid boys.

And... that pretty much brings us up to date. Exciting, eh? Mehn. I've got an exam tomorrow afternoon (my last one!) and I really, really need to get a-studying for it. So I'm off to shower and eat and all that jazz.

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