November 17th, 16:43 | lile-dapter fits between two sides of *any* argument!

I hate feeling like I'm the only person left in the world who really listens. You know? Like really, really pays attention to what you're saying, and will remember it.

The Boy is no doubt wondering what the Hell I'm saying, since I almost never remember words. But I remember the basic idea (I think), especially if it's something abstract or telling. I hate feeling sometimes that I"m the only one left who does. Whatever. I'm no doubt in yet another Diva Moment.

There's something that appeals to me about text files. About the clutter of just zillions of little .txt icons sitting in a folder, scattered over a hard drive. I don't know why, but I really like the idea. In theory. I wouldn't on my particular machine; it would drive me nuts -- I'd never be able to remember what all of it was. Mabye one day I'll let loose and just go for it. Learn to not impose absolute tidiness on pookie (there is a grand total of three folders which are allowed to be "messy" on my machine) and give 'er. I wonder if I'd start typing my thoughts there instead. Just one or two? Probably not. I think it's why I like blogging so much.

I finished Microserfs last night. Vastly funny, and amazing. I can't believe I hadn't read it till now. I love that book. Really-really. I have a mission to read All The Other Coupland Books I Haven't Read next summer. Not healthy, but mehn.

Also been thinking about the Japan thing. If we go ("we" being the Boy and I -- I don't think I could handle immersion in a culture all by myself) I am totally doing the NaNoWriMo thing, and I'm doing it hardcore. As much fun as Wakka! was, I think it'd be fun to pull the strings tighter and see what happens. My biggest problem, I think would be to not keep trying to write my Wakka! novel. Pity. I really loved some of those characters? Abby? Bry? Oh yeah, baby. Totally love them.

So I was a little upset a couple days ago about something I (along with the rest of the world) really should have gotten over about three years ago. It's kind of ridiculous that it still bothers. I really dislike being caught in the middle. Especially when it involves me not at all.

It just seems so stupid for people to have these impressions of people when they've never met them. An extreme emotional filter on all the gossip and hearsay that filters through, until you're left with a kind of caricature showing exactly what you want to see, that only grows. WHY??

Sick of it all. Sick of high horses, and after-notes, and everyone's different PR angles. I almost want there to be an objective truth so that I can beat people around the head with it. Argh. Off to write (more of) my JET application essay. More self-touting prose! Woohoo!

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