October 2nd, 22:39 | We are watered-down and fully grown

Oh wow it feels good to listen to old music. Bit tired, bit frustrated, bit angry at myself for everything under the sun and I slip in the Econoline Crush and everything's familiar. Not okay, yet, but familiar. I re-listened to my old Trent (Trent, baby, I'm sorry I ever went away; you really are a god) and old Veruca Salt (currently playing) and I'm almost in my happy place. I suppose it's not a good thing that I've emotionally regressed to (or at least not progressed past) where I was in grade... what? ten? eleven? but you know what? Whatever works. It just feels so good. I wish I could just sink in it. Damned AI homework. (Have I mentionned? That I'm in love with AI? So. Much. Fun. I need to be renamed. Seriously. I'm like lile-"anything but procedural programming"-phyte. Lisp is my new biggest crush. I love her even though she looks down her pointy little noise at me. *sigh*

(On a side-note, I was explaining to the Boy how I was madly in love with Lisp, and how she was like one of those skinny little bitchy girls in the skanky outfits, with the whiny nasal voices who makes me carry her bags when she drags me shopping, and doesn't put out, yet I keep trailing after her like a hapless puppy anyway. Gawd, the shite this language has put me through. But I keep running back! I can't help it! I am so Lisp's bitch. It's sad, really.)

Had Volcano Girls come on, and I felt fully me for the first time all week. Oh it felt good to feel kick-ass and in-control again. Although my floor rocks, and I can actually help people sometimes, I haven't felt at all confident about anything. Less worried about them liking me -- we had a semi-floor dinner where we hit the caf and only ate dessert food for dinner... even though in the end they all cracked and got real food too -- which feels GREAT, and even had one of them comment that she thought I was pretty much the only don who was so permanently available. That made me feel really good, although I did point out that I knew plenty of dons who spent time just hanging out in their rooms. Anyway. The point is my floor rocks and I love them, and I finally, finally feel like there's some hope. I'm still working slowly as ass, but at least I'm getting somewhere with this godforesaken AI homework, and there's only one question which I don't really get. I'm having issues with one of the functions I'm writing as well (this is where we see Lisp making me sleep on the couch because she's pissed and If I Don't Know Why Then She's Not Going To Tell Me; bitch) but I'm sure I'll work it out. Way more worried about cell biochem homework due on Monday. Eekity.

*deep breath*

I'm really, really glad I no longer have labs. Totally couldn't handle life with those thrown in as well. But I feel okay. I can manage this. I'm running Tarantino movies during Homecoming to amuse the non-drinking froshies, and I'll worry about the socket programming assignment when I'm done these two. This whole "time-management" thing will make itself clear to me. I swear.

I'm good. Life is good. High-pressure, but that'll improve post-15th. Just a loooonnnnng countdown till then. But. I'm in good shape. So nyah life. Take that!

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