August 21st, 19:19 | Bueller?

Well here I am, sitting in sticky, sweaty Kingston in the basement computer lab of the math building, on a machine running XP talking to a network that's slow as ass. Goddamn I miss the CS building. When will it be open (renovations) again to allow me access to its sweet unix machines and lovely no-lag-ness?? *pine* Enough. 9 days. Nine days. No phone and no pookie make lile something something. I should be okay though. I'm meeting my boss (the person I report to as a don, anyway) tonight along with a bunch of others both in my soon-to-be-home res and the one I lived in in first year (as he is the boss for dons of both buildings). It should be fun.

This morning saw me leave the house forgetting both my watch and my toothbrush. Yeah, go me. Jesus. I'm about as nervous as I was when I drove down to Kingston to move into res as a frosh -- four years ago. I don't know why I'm so nervous and angsty. I think it's the lack of entourage. While I know I have friends, a posse if you will, I don't really know anyone in the residences and I haven't seen any of my Kingston friends yet. Also, there's that whole fear that my students will hate me thing. Bah.

Feeling scarily inclined to write the folks at Workplace with stories but... I don't have any yet! ARGH. I think I just want some contact. I want something to reach out and pat me on the shoulder and say "it'll be okay; you're a nice person" or something, then rent shitty movies with me and watch them until tomorrow, at 8:30 when I need to be at breakfast in the caf for the start of training, which ends at 10pm tomorrow and starts even earlier the next day. All with no air conditioning. Damn my spoiled-ass city self. Damn it, I say, damnit. At least I have a fan though.

My words are becoming frantic and nonsensical. (I mean even more so than usual.) I'm panicking. I spent most of the morning reciting the Litany of Fear at myself (well, I alternated that with the Periodic Table; one must swap up from time to time). I feel I should talk about PokerFiend. About how I have (had?) a crush on him. About the really cool gifts he got me when I left (Dune and the first season of Undergrads on DVD, and then Dark Side Of The Moon just from him) and how I felt bad that I didn't have time to get him his gift. About how I told the Boy about it (I get crushes; this is normal for me, it'll go away) and how it just seems bigger and stuff right now because right now what I really want is anyone I know to talk to. So I'm going to meet his friend who is a don for the engineering floor tonight (one presumes). I hope we get along. I could use an acquaintance for the night. I need a pretend-friend. Once I'm grounded with real ones again it'll be okay. PokerFiend won't matter so much. No really, he won't.

I want ice cream. But instead, I'm off to go watch The Amazing Race with my boss. Whatever the fuck that's all about. While the boy hops on a bus to Timmins to hang with his family for the weekend. Help?

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