l i l e p h y t e


April 20th, 21:17 | rainy!

The rain is pouring down outside like it's trying to drown the squirrels, and I'm unsettled by vague thoughts resembling attempts at introspection.

I used to love rain. I still do, actually, but it's been awhile since I've wandered around in it. Back in highschool, and in frosh year, I was all over rain storms. It was like a shower, with all the therapeutic benefits (if less warm), but more intense, less controlled, and more... sincere? Not sure what the word is. The world was catharting, and I was invited to join in. It was a good feeling. Today, I'm a little too tired to join in, but I'm happy to sit curled up somewhere and watch and listen.

Except that I can't. I have so much bio to review I shouldn't even be writing this. *sigh* Just been feeling kinda wander-y and mopey all day. I miss having time for people, and I really just want this week to be over. Can't believe the intern who's going to replace me will be here in two weeks.

While I'm very glad I took the internship, and that it's helped me get a few things straight in my head about what I want, and don't want... I totally don't feel ready for the world. Part of why I think NewCoworker looks down on me is that, really, he's only 4 years older than me. But he's got a path, he's got a goal, he's got a car and is looking for a place to buy. Me? I've got friends all over Ontario and the fact that I'm going to be a don next year. (I'm tempted to say I also have people skills, but that would just be rude.)

So not ready to grow up. Ah well. Luckily no one said I had to be mature to train the newbie.

I miss the Boy. Well. At least I'll be back on icq soon.


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