l i l e p h y t e

February 23th, 23:15 | End of a kick-ass week with Boy

Feeling really good. (Although think I'm having weird connectivity problems.) Just spent the day with The Boy and he met The Parents. It went so well I'm wondering if there's something in the water, or if I'm dreaming.

We came back to the house after dim sum (his first; his chopstick-fu has improved dramatically over this past week -- huzza!) and watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which was okay. Cute, funny, too sappy for me. My dad then taught him to play go, and my mom asked him to stay for dinner. He helped us cook it (and I proved my total inadequacy in the kitchen; oh the shame -- to be fair, I was just Having One Of Those Days) and we ate. It was good. While we were just waiting for everything to be ready, we watched a bit of Beauty & The Beast on tv.

We hung out in my room for awhile just talking. Then we drove The Boy home. My parents approve muchly. I'm near-giddy with happiness at this. It's so... strange, to have this parental consent! And it feels great. I feel like I'm made of light. Even though I'm still a week behind schedule (and a big week at that), I don't feel hampered at all. The Boy leaves for Ottawa tomorrow around noon, and I'm sad. I'll miss him, but I'm glad to get back to my schoolwork. We're going to get through this messiness then never not be together again.

I can compare this to last year. To the day. When I was feeling a little blue with one of the ongoing arguments with RecentEx (that we never resolved). When I was feeling low about school, and incompetant, and not really capable of anything. I was aching to start my internship, to get out of school, to do anything I could to break the routine.

And now, it's a year later. I feel like I've got a better grip. Even if I'm still a little worried about school (if I were a grad school, I'd hesitate about accepting me), but I know there's some stuff I'm good at. I know that if I'm very desperate, Workplace will hire me back. I have ideas for what to do after I graduate, and even some thoughts on what I think I'd like to do. I have a Boy who I'm comfortable with and who's okay with me the way I am. Who I know I'm okay with being far away from, because we have been for so long. I've got everything to look forward to, and nothing holding me back. I've got my parents happy and hoping for me.

Mid-summer I wouldn't have seen how much good this year off is doing me. From here, the half-way mark, I'm looking at a me who manages to get herself doing yoga semi-regularly. At a me who can organize her time and studies, and still manage to pull a week out of a hat for the world's greatest guy when he comes to visit. A me who can think about medschool and teaching, and grad school, and Working In The Real World with objectivity and analyze options. A me who managed to stay single for ~5 months, and even enjoy some of it.

I've got a ways to go yet, but I'm recovering my fearlessness and independence.

And now I'm going to bed!

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