l i l e p h y t e


January 4th, 22:55 | 'no' -- just two little letters!

I think, despite my multiple vows not to, I think I'm going to add another resolution. The new one is "Learn to say 'no'." and while I've known for awhile that I have major issues with it, it has so come to a head of late.

Okay, I realize what an obnoxious and self-centered 14-year-old girl I'm going to come off as in the next couple paragraphs. Please keep in mind it's mostly because I'm so not used to this. Okay?

Alright, so of late, I'm mysteriously being hit on by all kinds of guys. They're seriously jumping out of the woodwork. I mean, we knew about Smitten, and Roo (who I'm still undecided about; I'm going to Ottawa soon, so we'll see what happens -- I'm keeping in mind Danton: L'audace! Encore, l'audace! Toujours, l'audace! ;p) and allegedly one of my neighbours. But. There's this guy I met recently at work ("WorkBoy"). He was an intern, but is now working, while completing his last year at U. (Scary, neh?) So anyway, yes. And he's expressing a somewhat scary interest in me; even he says so -- apparently I'm the first gwai mui he's ever been interested in.

We're going to tangent at this point and talk about, err, culture or some such, because the rest won't make sense unless I do. So my mom's Chinese and my dad's English (and, just for the record, he doesn't mind being a "Brit") and the result is that while I don't look particularly asian (unless I've got my hair straight and lighting and stuff) I've got a good deal of the culture ingrained in me, because my mom's family (that's five brothers and sisters, and my grandma) are also here, and I see them regularly. This comes as a shock to most people who don't know me. The Cantonese also makes for some interesting eavesdropping, but that's a whole different story unto itself.

WorkBoy was introduced to me via the other interns who work in his general vicinity. He seems to be fascinated by this duality and seems innordinately curious. As flattering as all this is, I have no interest whatsoever, but don't really know how to tell him. And hence we're going for lunch tomorrow. *sigh* I suck at this.

It's a little unfair, really. I have no reason not to be interested, per se. I mean, he's nice, very sweet, kinda old-fashioned (hello? warning to all: any guy I date has to be okay with me driving. this is not up for debate; I love driving, and that's all. It's final) but seems sincere. It's just that we really have nothing in common, which I suppose isn't so bad. But I'm also pretty confused with Roo, and totally not in a good place for relationships right now. I'm preparing, come mid-January, to drop off the face of the earth for three months. I know I don't have the time necessary for a bf. What the hell am I thinking??? Note to self: tell him tomorrow at lunch. ...right.

As a ps why is it I can never remember what I intended to write about once I'm in here? God damn my laziness. In other news, however, screw Avril Lavigne -- if I had this I would be so punker than her sorry ass. I'd out-punk the lot of you! Nyar!

Yes... 14 minutes into Rhapsody In Blue, lilephyte's taking herself off to bed now...


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