September 16th, 9:14 | fewer loose ends
I've started thinking of him as someone else. RecentEx. I think about the way his voice sounded on the phone, Friday night; we only talked for half an hour. A little tired, sleepy (I woke him up), a little deeper, a little less open. He's not open to me anymore. I should have expected that though. Aren't I less open to him? (No, I don't really think so; I don't really know though.) Things are clearer with Smitten. I guess I hadn't been as clear as I thought when I'd said "I need time, don't hold your breath" because he asked. I told him I had no idea what would happen after I got things sorted out; that's kind of the whole point of the "risk" thing. And I feel better; clean. It's good to know everyone's on the same page. More later; feeling disjointed. Sleepy, but had gentle, quiet settling into the day (I love 4-day weeks -- I get to come in early!) so I'm now looking out at the world through a kind of fuzzy, hazy, golden cotton wool. Nyar.
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