December 9th, 15:37 | I admire the glowing stars, and try to play your tunes

Looks like it's my turn to be the sappy, melty emo kid today. I don't know why. Probably a subconscious hissy-fit so I won't study or something (what the hell is it with me and studying??) but I can't focus. I feel like my heart's breaking, and I don't even know why. I was talking to the Boy earlier, and things are snazzity and shiny. It's a quiet, windy day. It's probably the music. I'm listening to a bizarre mix of Disney showtunes, Weezer and The Ataris, and apparently no good can come of that.

And I'm still here, waiting there, to catch you if you fall; I don't know why I care so much when I shouldn't care at all...

I want a hug. I want to curl up in a ball with the Boy warm, and with fleecey blankets and have half a bowl of congee (less likely to spill that way) and have him have time to coddle me and tell me about his day or his lab partners. No movies. No books. Just closeness and warmth.

That way there's no way I will crush your pretty toenails into a thousand pieces...

I also feel pretty bad about last night. One of my froshlings (who I have an awesome relationship with -- I shall call him VanFroshling -- he's as friendly/popular as Van Wilder, I swear) came to wake me up at 2h30 -- and I was actually in bed. I'd been trying for about an hour to get to sleep (this, in itself, is unheard of -- so I was in a pretty bad mood to start with) and he was saying the whole floor smelled like yummy burntness and the microwave was full of smoke. I was saying that if it wasn't a big deal, turn on the vent in the kitchen, and I'd deal with it today. Re-cap from his point of view. Him: Lilephyte? I think res is burning down. Me: Look, just fucking go back to bed, okay? I'll fix it tomorrow, Jesus. Bad don, lilephyte. Bad don. So, yeah, I feel pretty ass about that. I talked to him today, and everything's miraculously fixed, and he was very understanding. So that's good.

I've saved the tickets from the shows that we've been to, and a thousand other memories of you...

Bah. I'm tired of feeling weighed down by sentimentalist, emo crap. ...sadly I can't really listen to anything else right now. *sigh* How do I get myself into these cycles?

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