December 13th, 18:36 | Oh, notoriety...

I wanted to do this awhile ago, but was too lazy. (Heh. If I could count the number of ways I could apply that sentence to my life and have it add up to something, it would be a frightening number.) I have since, however, gotten my ass in gear. Kind of.

I suppose I should start with Mark. I wouldn't say he was my boyfriend so much as someone to talk to. The online equivalent of a cuddle-bitch. I was his moon-princess (oh yeah, he was big into Sailor Moon -- actually he was probably a big factor in my introduction to anime) and things were fabulous. We talked about... nothing, really. He wrote me poetry and I wrote him letters. We were both more in love with the idea of being in love than we were interested in each other. Kinda fun that we found each other, no? Sometimes I wonder where he's at, but not very actively, and not for very long.

Soon after that break-up, I met Musician_ex. He is quite possibly my favourite ex. I can almost say we had nothing but good times. After we broke up things got a little sticky for awhile, but he was definitely the most fun to date. Always relaxed, always poking fun at something, he was the first one I got to mesh with who was all about lazy hang-out time. His taste in movies was perfect, and I can't believe I never listened to Weezer until I met him.

I've got more to say, but for some reason can't find the words. I'll work on it.

There was a messy period wherein we weren't really talking and things were ugly. This was also when my digital rights thing started, mostly with an interest in cryptography. In fact, that's kind of how I started hanging out with...

Mathie_ex. I could call him a lot of other things as well, words like dark, goth, coffee, but I mean, if I stop focusing on the details and think about him in big terms, it really was the math. I understood academic passion; back then I was all over chemistry and biology like a crackwhore on leopardprint. He had that kind of passion for math (him and his best friend, BrotherKitty both) but not the math we were taught in school. They were all over the interesting math, the theoretical math. The kind of math that people want to learn after reading Cryptonomicon. And of course, they were both geeks. (Actually, I credit Mathie_ex with the majority of my exposure to "modern" Macs.)
When I met him he was a little unkempt, reading IBFT and 2600. Even back then, he drank coffee Black -- not just black, my friends, Black -- and listened to older hard rock-type stuff. I was shocked that anyone as pseudo-hardcore as he had never listened to NIN (yeah, this was back in my Trent fan-girl days... shyeah, like they're over!) so I introduced him. He, in turn, taught me the joy of the programmable calculator. I'm apparently reponsible for the subsequent goth-ification of him. This is perhaps true, but it wasn't on purpose.
Lots of learning, lots of limit-testing. I found a lot of my boundaries with Mathie_ex, things I hadn't really thought of in a relationship before. We broke up new years of my frosh year essentially over an awful misunderstanding. If it weren't for the fact that it took two years to clear it up, there may have been some hope of getting back together. We haven't really talked since and I'm not all that sure he really wants to see me. I miss him though.

Post-new year's 2000, started my "rebound boys". Of course, at the time, foolish lass that I was, I didn't realize until about a year later. I am many things; slow on the uptake is one of them.

Spineless_ex was an engineer in my building. He was actually the floor senior on a floor (not mine!) in my residence. He was that rare item in engineering -- the artsy, sensitive kinda guy who wrote poetry and fiction, loved fantasy art and read lots of books (admittedly, all sci-fi) but was mysteriously drawn to Computer Engineering. That should have tipped me off. But since it didn't, I splashed through a brief, fairly boring relationship. Not that he wasn't fun -- I mean, when I asked, we did all kinds of great things. I got to know the anime club at my university, the swing club (he was, after all my first swing partner) he was someone to cuddle with and generally occupy my attention while I tried to forget about Mathie_ex. However, the boy was spineless. Utterly. He came pre-whipped. He wrote me a poem (kinda reminiscent of Mark's poetry actually) about how I'd saved him and such. That was my cue to run. And so, that summer, I broke his heart. (I realize how callously I say that, but there's no other way of putting it. He was that type of guy -- there was no way I could have not broken it. I'd like to say last I checked he was fine, but since he dropped off the face of the earth around February, I've really no idea.)

The second in my round of rebounding (that's right folks, just the one wasn't enough!) was Stalker_ex. My sister would say that I must have been on medication (or glue) at the time. Honestly? I think I just needed someone who had that much time to waste on me. (This is making me sound like a horrible person, but both these relationships started off as friendships. I just kinda lost sight of what I wanted/needed.) I started hanging out with him, he was kind of a geek (note: it's a good thing; the vast majority of my friends are geeks; if you want my geek code, I've got it memorized) and he lived fairly close to me. That summer we hung out a lot, did nothing, watched movies, etc. He was into the quirky type of pseudo-date -- things where he knew I'd never be able to say "Oh, I've done that" (hello, pudding on the lawn of Ikea, although I have to admit that was pretty cool). In all, the model boyfriend, if we forget about his total lack of academic (or most other forms of) integrity. I wanted to break shortly after getting back in school, because I was reminded of how important the ideal of university is to me, but also because I was better. My wings were mended, and he was not what I wanted in a guy. One Saturday night he showed up on my doorstep with a calla lily (I hate calla lilies, always have) telling me he thought we should give it a try. Phone calls, emails, icq, pages, even my housemate got bothered. Ugh. We don't talk.

That brings me to my most Recent_ex. Who is doing just fine, and I'm glad. I want to write out the story of how we met, about late nights in the student centre, and how we could stay home and do absolutely nothing and have it be perfect. About how even doing the dishes was exciting with him. But. I'm not really in the right mood for it right now. I'd risk slipping into nostalgia. So I'll do it some other time. Okay?

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